Dog Panties, Ticks and Dragging Our Feet

Getting some fresh air even if I don't
feel like playing at all.

The last several days have begun to take a real toll on me, emotionally and physically. There seems to be so much going on that I haven't been able to catch my breath or think very clearly. I also haven't been getting much sleep, just a few hours around dawn every day. Even when I can slow my mind down enough to lie down, it seems circumstances (like doggy pee accidents) conspire against me getting any rest. I am exhausted already, and our journey to healing has only just begun.

Enjoying the outdoors, yet
meds make her feel paranoid.

We decided to decrease the dose of Benadryl we are giving her. Unlike the cannabis oil, she doesn't seem to "get used to" the Benadryl and it really makes her loopy. She wouldn't sleep, she could barely hold herself up, her lower eyelids drooped way open, her mouth hung open, and her tongue even hung out! She also couldn't control her pee at all. Even awake she would be leaking it everywhere. The Benadryl also seems to make her easily startled and she acts like she is paranoid (without the Benadryl she doesn't act like this so it isn't the cannabis oil). She even had trouble walking, she walked like a drunk and would fall over if we stopped.

While talking to my therapist about some of this it dawned on me that us knowing she has cancer had suddenly decreased her quality of life. Before we knew she had cancer (and not counting the diarrhea that took us to the vet where we received the cancer dx) she appeared to be a healthy, active and very playful middle-aged dog. On all the medicine they prescribed she looks, acts and seems to feel like a very old dog who doesn't want to move. She can't even hold her pee! Whatever time she has left should have SOME joy in it yet.That seems like the best reason to reduce the dose of that one drug. There were other reasons, too though.

Relaxing in the fresh air.

I completely understand the need for the Benadryl, which is why we didn't stop it entirely. Instead of a full pill in the morning and at night she gets half of a pill. She is still getting some of the medicine, but she is having far fewer accidents. I am disabled myself, I can't keep up with all of the accidents the full dose was causing. Even at half a dose we average 2 accidents per day. I can't afford the sharp increase in laundry (I have to use the laundromat and pay for each load), the protective puppy pads (the human ones are much cheaper), diaper liners (again human ones save money and work better) and disinfectant/deodorant/clean up costs.

Two nights ago I was really at a low point. I was really feeling defeated by the situation. It was 5 AM and we were cleaning up after her 4th accident in my bed that night. It felt like in just a few weeks time my life had completely gone to hell. My dog was old and dying right before my eyes. Seemingly overnight she went from begging to be played with several times a day to having to be literally dragged outside to use the bathroom. She was spending every day in a stupor.


After reducing her dose of Benadryl she had a playful spell. She wasn't full of her usual energy but she did have interest in playing tug at the park. She still shows no interest in running around much. The vet spoke about keeping her "comfortable" since surgery isn't an option, but the Benadryl and prednisone seem to have turned her into an old, sickly dog when she had been pretty healthy and energetic before the treatment. They don't seem very hopeful that anything can really be done about this cancer, because of the unfortunate location, so I don't understand the need to ruin her quality of life for hopeless treatments. We see the vet again on Wednesday and I will definitely have a lot to ask; I've got a list started and keep adding questions as they occur to me.

Another issue the over-medicating has started is that she is now dragging her feet when she walks. We had noticed that we could hear her feet dragging a few times but didn't think too much of it. Then yesterday I happened to notice that she was wearing the tops of some of her nails off. It looks like one might have even gone past the "quick", but thankfully didn't bleed.

I am a little concerned about this, I don't know if it is just lethargy from all the medicines or if she is having some kind of issue with her co-ordination/muscle control. Another question for the list I have for her vet.

Speaking of her feet and nails, the other day I thought she had mysteriously grown a second dew claw along side the first. As we looked closer my husband said he thought it looked like a skin tab, but he didn't have his readers on. I was able to see that this "skin tab" had several legs! She picked up a dog tick somewhere. Thanks to this handy guide I was able to ID it quickly to know it wasn't a deer tick. The last thing she needs while her immune system is compromised by steroids is to get a deadly infection! Luckily she shows none of the symptoms of the diseases they, or any other ticks, can carry.


I realized today that part of the reason I am feeling so lost and overwhelmed could have to do with how little the vet has told us. They gave us a diagnosis- it is a mast cell tumor- but other than that they haven't said much. The first doctor did comment that it seemed aggressive and may have spread to her other organs but didn't elaborate any further. No one told us what a mast cell tumor was, how advanced it is, how likely is it to be shrunk/cured, will this shorten her lifespan and if so by how much. Basically nothing.


There is still hope though. Photos of her tumor taken yesterday seem to show it shrinking! Looking at all of the photos I've taken since she was diagnosed it looks like it continued to grow at first, but in the last 2 sets of photos I believe I have seen some slight shrinkage. It is difficult to get photos of it from other angles but from the side view it doesn't seem as tall either. Since we have no photos from that angle there is no way to tell. My husband and I both see it though, it seems not as tall or as pointy as it was a couple of weeks, or even days, ago.

We have been having trouble getting her oil to stick to her bump to use it topically. At first it was like tar and coated it really well. It has dried out and gotten crumbly since then and it just falls right off. We don't have coconut oil, which everyone recommends, but tonight we may have come up with a solution. We mixed her CO medicine with some Burt's Bees Soothingly Sensitive Aloe and Buttermilk Body Lotion hoping the lotion would act as a vehicle to bring the CO into the skin deeper. I am not sure if just mixing the lotion with the CO will sufficiently combine them so that the lotion can carry into the skin. At the very least, it made the oil creamy and much more likely to stick.

We also bandaged it tonight, or at least tried to, with a stretchy cling bandage to try to keep the medicine on the tumor where it belongs. We have never gotten a bandage to stay on before, but at the time of this writing it has hung on for about six hours, survived two walks and a number two. Hopefully it will stay on, at least for the night, so that tumor can be saturated in cannabis oil lotion.

It must be time for me to wrap this update up. The poor girl just had an accident on the floor. She was really alert and curious the last time I had glanced over at her, BUT... Steve gave her 1/2 a Benadryl about an hour ago. I didn't know that or I would have reminded him to put her shorts on her. We have been calling those non-diaper garments either her shorts or her panties. I have had to alter it twice, add more velcro and I think I still need to add some darts to them. That might help keep her from leaking with them on. Unfortunately, without a waterproof liner, they will never be without leaks.

Thank you everyone who has been keeping up with Pheo's journey and especially thank you to those who have reached out with words of encouragement for me. It means a lot. I am considering starting a Facebook and Twitter for the blog, to connect better with those who are reading and reaching out. Hopefully there will be more news on that and a fundraiser soon! Please keep checking back and sharing our story with others!