Pending Appointments

This Friday will be 2 weeks since our last appointment with Dr. Kidd, the oncologist. Last time he put Pheona on a 2 week course of a higher dose of prednisone than she had been on previously, so it is time for a re-check. The hope was that the tumor would shrink, even a little bit, to make surgery a little easier. I believe it may have actually grown a little. I hope I am wrong, but nothing seems to be stopping this thing.

Next week we will be making an appointment with the surgeon for a surgical consult. This one we have to pay for, unlike the surgical consult at the SPCA. I'm not sure why when they have already given us 2 written surgical estimates. Sometimes I think places like this take advantage of the emotional moment to overcharge. I don't know if that is the case here or not, I just know it feels like a lot of charges. I try to put that out of my mind, even if I am right it won't do me any good to waste precious time complaining too much about it right now. I want to put all of my energy into raising the money to get this surgery, THAT is my priority at this moment.

The good news is we are making some progress in the fundraising! So far, as of this moment we are at $1030.00!! $500 of that amount is a pledge from The Mosby Foundation, it will expire if we can't raise enough to use it within 60 days. I have been submitting applications to every single charity agency that I can find. Sadly, many stated on their website that they had no funds available and 3 places I applied have responded they have no funds to help at the moment. The Mosby Foundation responded within just a few days with their pledge, which inspired me and gave me some hope. I have application in with and am waiting for responses from 6 other charities.

Some of the cash donations so far have gone towards paying for the appointments, medications and supplies we have already accessed. What we have left is enough to pay for the appointment tomorrow and the appointment with the surgeon next week. Each of those appointments cost $140 plus any medications they might prescribe. Depending on the cost of drugs we should have enough for that as well. I know I have enough to cover a prednisone refill if they order one. ($22, it is thankfully a cheap drug at least.)

There are some things that the charity grants won't cover, so raising enough cash for them is going to be vital. The most urgent thing we need to pay for with cash is an ultrasound because they want to do that before doing surgery. The ultrasound will tell them if her cancer has spread to her internal organs or not. If it has spread, surgery won't do much good. With the latest estimates they included an estimate for the pre-surgery testing and supplies needed and that comes to almost another 2 grand. I think I will need to raise my fundraising goal, again. (I only estimated surgery, doctor visit bills and medicines into my goal, I didn't realize there would be so many other charges before we could even get to the surgery!)

Since our last appointment and increase in a couple of her medications Pheona has been extremely lethargic and incontinent again. We have tried taking her to the park, but she has no interest in doing anything, except eating. Prednisone causes a huge increase in appetite. She spends all of her time sleeping, or searching for crumbs to eat. The vet advised us strongly not to give in and feed her more because it will complicate things if she is overweight. We have broken her day's food into 3 meal times for her rather than 2, but she still thinks she is starving. I feel so bad for her but have to stay strong. We are trying to stay optimistic and upbeat. Some days it is easier said than done. 

After the vet appointment tomorrow we are planning to have a baking and poster making date with a friend and her daughter this weekend. We live right near a major public transportation stop in a large city and are going to have a little bake sale in the area. I am really looking forward to making some cookies and painting with friends. (She is an amazing friend who has been helping me with so much of this I couldn't even begin to thank her enough.)

Check back soon for updates on our visit with Dr. Kidd tomorrow and our bake sale this weekend!

Determined to Have Surgery

Since seeing the oncologist I have felt trapped in a whirlwind, unable to catch my breath. I have to admit, at first it was like having the wind knocked out of me. I couldn't see any way that I was going to be able to raise over $5,000. My fundraiser has had some donations but nothing near the amount needed for the number one option surgery.  We haven't gotten any of the items on our wishlist. I felt pretty hopeless and utterly helpless. If you have ever had to put your best friend down or lost them to a curable sickness because you didn't have enough money, you know the combined inability to catch your breath/nausea/vertigo/unbearable pain sensation that I am talking about.

The tumor looked bigger yesterday (8-20).
That isn't very reassuring.

My poverty could cost my beloved Pheona her life. Every time that though goes through my head it feels like I have been punched in the gut all over again.

While I was feeling rather low and hopeless an old friend sent me a list of agencies that might be able to help me pay for Pheona's treatment. I felt a spark of hope reignite within me when I realized what I was looking at. I had no idea that all of these organizations were out there! There were at least a dozen agencies on that list. I sat down at my computer and got to work. I had some applications to fill out!

I hope this is just average mast cell tumor "shape-shifting",
as they are known to do.

Thanks to a photo meme my week has been filled with financial aid applications. Not all of the agencies have funds, some only help cats, some you have to live in certain places and a few don't seem to have any way to apply so I need to check on them further. That makes the list a lot shorter, but it didn't remove all of them. Then two of the places I sent an application to replied with more possible resources!

I have submitted a couple of applications that were pretty simple and am working on gathering all of the proof of income some of the other ones want. Late Tuesday afternoon I got a message to call one of the agencies the next day if I still needed help. I called them yesterday and they asked for a copy of the vet estimate and some photos of Pheo, which I sent them right away.  I was surprised and ecstatic to wake up this morning to an email from The Mosby Foundation-- they have pledged $500 (their max) towards the surgery!!!

Here is what the email said, 
"Dear Julie,

Thanks to a generous grant from the Petco Foundation and Blue Buffalo, The Mosby Foundation is able to pledge $500.00 toward Pheona’s tumor removal. If you have applied or will apply to other organizations for assistance, it may be beneficial to make them aware of our donation......  

PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS PLEDGE IS ONLY GOOD FOR 60 DAYS FROM THE DATE OF THIS EMAIL. ONCE YOU HAVE SCHEDULED A SURGERY/TREATMENT DATE, BE SURE TO NOTIFY US AT LEAST 3-4 BUSINESS DAYS IN ADVANCE SO THAT WE MAY CALL IN OUR PAYMENT.

We are happy that we could help your furkid!" YAAAAAAAY!!!!

"OMG! OMG! OMG!
The Mosby Foundation ROCKS!
I wuf them!"

I am anxious to get this surgery scheduled, I want my girl to feel like her old self again as soon as possible and this pledge for assistance expires in 60 days. I do not want to lose this important grant. It is 10% of what I need and I am confident that there is going to be more places that want to help. Every little bit matters and every penny gets me one step closer to curing my baby.

The oncologist increased her prednisone for 2 weeks in an attempt to shrink the tumor before surgery. That doesn't seem to affect her alertness but the Benadryl sure does! We decided to try to raise her Benadryl up to the full pill twice per day that is prescribed so she gets the full benefit. Now we are having a lot more pee accidents again though. When we get this tumor off, she won't need all of these drugs and so she should be right back to her peppy, playful self as soon as her surgery wound heals. Right now her quality of life is hit and miss. Mostly she is too medicated to care about much at all. Seeing her like that makes me incredibly sad.

I better get back to the financial aid applications, I just wanted to take a few minutes to check in about where we are today. Today we are feeling much more optimistic; we are also grateful for charitable organizations and people like you. If you haven't donated to our fundraiser or purchased one of the items on our wishlist yet please consider doing so. We also need everyone who can to share our story. The more people who see it, the more chance we have at reaching out goal of surgical removal of the lump and tail. Thank you! <3

Saw the Oncologist

While I am very happy that I know what it is exactly that we are up against I am really depressed to know what we are up against. I will have more to say about it later, right now I need to regroup and try to stop crying long enough to think straight.

Option 1: Surgery that includes tail amputation costs $4,000-5,000 (this is the best option as it could possibly cure her)

Option 2: Surgery to remove most of the tumor but leaves the tail costs $3,500-4,500 (this could leave some cancer behind and it has a 50/50 chance of recurring. If it recurs, no other surgical options will be available after this procedure. Not an option I like but it is better than #3.)

Option 3: Just steroids and chemo, over time they could cost just as much, if not more, than option 1 and is a horrible choice. The drugs might slow things down but over time this tumor will become severely problematic and make her seriously ill until it kills her.

We don't have a lot of time, doing nothing will probably see her so sick I have to put her down in less than 6 months. I have no idea what I am going to do. I am so bummed out but at least I know what I am facing, no more wondering and waiting to be informed.  I don't want to let myself get too down, but this is a total mess.

You can help us by donating to our fundraiser or purchasing items for us off of our wishlist. Any little bit helps. If you can't donate please share our story, to help us find those who can help. Sharing is just as important as donating! Thank you!

Surgical estimates

First Oncology Appointment Tomorrow

I am very excited to finally be able to say that Pheona has her first appointment with an oncologist. This is such a relief. I am not sure why the SPCA didn't refer us to an oncologist immediately, but rather kept us coming back over and over to tell us that they didn't know anything. Each appointment was them telling us to come back in a couple of weeks. When Steve made the appointment with the San Francisco Veterinary Specialists (SFVS) that was one of the comments they made too, that we should have called them right away.

It seems less swollen today than the last photo. The skin is even
a little wrinkly, last time it was tight and shiny.

  

I wish I had taken her somewhere else from the start. I didn't know what to do though, I foolishly believed that the SPCA would tell me where to turn next. I mean, most people wouldn't know what the next step is for any diagnosis of serious illness in themselves or their pets. Since they wanted us to see a different doctor when we came back for a check-up I think I assumed the second doctor would be a specialist. After meeting him I should have known he wasn't a specialist, he seemed to have less information than the first doctor.

Since she is seeing an oncologist tomorrow Steve went up to the SPCA today and got copies of her medical records. Looking through them I am even more angry. There is quite a bit of information in her record that they could have shared with us, things I specifically asked about and they avoided answering me. They said we could "talk about all that in more depth at your next appointment" when we asked questions, or just gave a blank stare and changed the subject. I guess I assumed they didn't know, now it appears they knew but I hadn't been fleeced for enough money yet to share the information with me. I don't believe they ever had any intention of referring Pheona to an oncologist either, they were discussing doing the surgery themselves in the notes.        

The first day we took her in and were told the lump was cancer they told us the first step is usually to remove the tumor. Unfortunately, they informed us that surgical removal probably wasn't an option for Pheona because of the tumor's location. It is almost touching her anus (which is why I censor the photos!). I asked if tail amputation would be a solution, she would look weird but she can live without her tail. They didn't even bother to answer, we just got that deer-in-the-headlights look for a few seconds before they changed the subject. Reading the clinical notes for that visit I find "Tail amputation may be necessary". Ummm... I had just asked that question! 

The clinical notes for the last appointment says that tail amputation is not recommended because of the location, same reason as they gave for not removing the lump. I don't know why they seemed to feel the need to withhold this information from me, I had asked this very question specifically and gotten no reply at all. This note also says that lump removal may be possible with a skin graft (something called a"pedicle flap") but to discuss it with me at the next appointment. I didn't think I could get any more angry with this hospital but apparently I was wrong. The only reason I can come up with for constantly withholding information "until next time" is to fatten up my bill. 

Tomorrow's appointment is $130 (!!!) but is 1 hour long. A whole hour with a specialist to discuss her diagnosis, treatment options and her prognosis (which the SPCA has rated as "poor to guarded" in the note but didn't tell us this). They will also answer all of our questions. I don't think we have spent a total of 6 minutes with any of the doctors at the SPCA and it has cost us $398.46. When broken down like that, the $130 seems like a bargain. Any treatments, procedures and medications are going to be extra, but I am really hoping to feel more informed and involved in deciding what to do next.

There is only one drawback that I can think of from switching to SFVS from the SPCA and that is the payment plan option at the SPCA. Whatever treatments that the SFVS vets recommend will need to be paid for at time of receiving the service. That means that I am really going to need a little help from my friends and kind strangers to make sure she gets the treatment she needs. Our fundraiser was able to raise up the cost of the initial appointment, but that is all, and that is just the beginning.

Please consider donating to help make sure the beautiful Pheona gets what she needs without delay. Any amount that you can spare will help! (Tomorrow I plan to discuss with SFVS the possibility of having cash donations for her bill come directly to them, I am sure that will make some folks feel a lot more comfortable that their money is going for what I said it is for). You can help by purchasing items on our wishlist on Amazon, it has items we need to care for Pheona that aren't purchased from the vet such as Benadryl, diaper pads, protective pads and even a bag of her special cookies to help take her mind off all this poking and prodding. You could also buy the wishlist items at your favorite store and send them to us (my mailing address is listed here or here). After tomorrow's appointment I hope to have a much better idea of what kind of treatment she needs and how much it is all going to cost. Until then, Pheona sends puppy kisses to all of her angels!!

Time For A New Veterinarian!

August 8, 2014. It looks like some of the fur is growing back,
but it might have been under the CO before.

Oh boy, have the past few days been a roller coaster- a few ups and a lot of downs. We had our 3rd vet appointment on Wednesday and I was really anxious to try to finally get some information. I asked the first question as we were checking in, why is my bill so much? Had they forgotten to apply the emergency discount that we were granted? They hadn't forgotten, they didn't do it. Turns out, we had been misled about that whole Emergency Care Grant (ECG) situation. We also didn't get to see the vet that day because of the amount we still owed without the discount. Our payments were current, but there was still a balance we couldn't pay off right then.

August 8, 2014. Looks like it might have grown.

The staff at the SPCA told us repeatedly that the discount (actually a grant but it boils down to a discount for the pet owner) would be applicable to all of the care stemming from the original emergency visit. They even told us several times that it "might" even be able to be applied to surgery if she had been a surgical candidate. They knew none of this was true. The discount only covered the emergency visit. Cancer doesn't count for some reason. I feel like I was purposely misled, I agreed to be responsible for a bill they told me would only be half and they charged me for most of it.

August 8, 2014. We may need to get more aggressive with her treatment.

I probably wouldn't feel so misled but there are several things I am not happy with, especially when looked at all together. I sure don't feel as if they were actually doing anything for Pheona or even telling us what the heck is going on. All of the information that we have on mast cell tumors and even her medication we have found online. After 3 visit all we know from them is they can't operate, but not what they actually can do. I feel like they are having us come back every week or two just for the exam fee. It costs $65 a pop for them to take less than 3 minutes with us and all they do is touch her tumor and say "we don't know, come back in a couple of weeks". That fee doesn't even count tests, meds and prescription food.

Then there is the whole issue with the prednisone. At the very first visit, when she was diagnosed, they gave her 11.5 prednisone pills (20 mg) with instructions to take 1.5  pills per day. They told us to also give her 3 Benadryls twice a day for 2 days, to fight the histamine release from the biopsy (aspirate). When we left they said they would call us the next day and let us know what to do next. Completely overwhelmed and terrified we clutched the little bottle of pills, went home, hugged Pheona tight and cried for the rest of the day.

Pheona on her 8th birthday at Dolores Park.
January 28, 2012

After we got home it occurred to me that if one Benadryl made Pheona so intoxicated that she can barely stand and can't hold her bladder, what would 3 of them do to her? We made the decision to only give her one of them that night and planned to ask the vet if 3 was really safe when he called the next day. We gave her the dose of prednisone with her supper because the vet told us (and there was a warning label saying) it needed to be taken with food. That was the only warning we were given regarding the prednisone, either verbally or written anywhere. It shouldn't have been.

There should have also been a label on the bottle of prednisone warning not to stop it suddenly. Patients have to be weaned off, it is dangerous to stop taking the steroid abruptly. It can even be fatal. We knew nothing about that but we did want to know if she should keep taking it or if it was only for a short time, like the Benadryl. At 1.5 pills per day, there were 7 days worth of medicine in that bottle. That should have been plenty since they were supposed to call us in the next day or two. Supposed to, schmosed to.

They didn't call the next day. Or the next one, which was Independence Day. I told myself it was just that the holiday was mixing things up and to be patient (I tend to be impatient and want to be less so). But then, they didn't call on Monday either. On Tuesday we started calling them. The doctor was, of course, always too busy to speak with us. The reception person would apologize for the delay and promise us that the vet would call "tomorrow, for sure". We played this game with them for 3 weeks!

Three weeks is a long time to just be left hanging, right after having a C-bomb dropped in your lap.By the time they got back to us her prednisone had been gone for 2 weeks, stopped abruptly and we were completely ignorant to the danger. It wasn't until the vet put her back on it and we saw the warning on the new bottle that we realized what kind of danger she had been in. Now, normally this kind of stuff would have upset me so much I would have let them have it right there and then switched to a new vet by the 3rd or 4th day they didn't call us. This cancer diagnosis and lack of information had me so terrified and distraught that I wasn't able to see how poorly we were being treated. Even if I had seen it, I was too insecure and frozen in fear to do a single thing about it.

Since we didn't see the vet the last time we went to the SPCA they gave us a hard time about refilling her prednisone, and we only had 3 left. At first they tried to tell us they couldn't refill it without an appointment (which would make the refill total about $100 rather than $30) even though they had JUST seen her 10 days ago. When I pointed out that failing to refill this particular drug, at least enough for us to wean her off safely, would endanger Pheona's life and how I would sue them if she died, they were suddenly able to offer her 5 more pills. We had to pay off our outstanding balance and for the pills they were giving us to get the refill though. Luckily, thanks to our fundraiser we were able to do that. We are back at the starting point as far as fundraising now, but we were able to get the medicine so she wouldn't get sick or die from withdrawal. Until I have her new doctor set up and some money to cover meds I don't dare put her back on that steroid. The risk of running out is just too dangerous.

The moment they told us she had cancer we should have searched for a specialist, but I thought the SPCA either had one or would refer us to one if we needed it. They never mentioned having her see an oncologist, just coming back to see the same vets who know very little about mast cell tumors, or an kind of cancer. Looking back now, it would have been nice of them to tell us they had no idea what they were doing. I feel like they took advantage of our vulnerable emotional state to bill us for as much as possible. Thankfully a friend of a friend on FB suggested the San Francisco Veterinary Specialists.

Since SFVS is only a block from the SPCA my husband, Steve, stopped to get some information after picking up her refill. They were not happy to hear about the treatment she has received so far and urged us to make an appointment with them. They require payment at the time of services though. The first visit is $130 but they spend an hour with us education us on her tumor, learning about Pheona and tailoring her treatment plan/medications to make sure that she still has a good quality of life. That is something that the SPCA certainly wasn't worried about but is an important aspect of the care at SFVS. My focus at the moment is raising that $130.

Another thing that made me mad at the SPCA, she didn't appear to be ill at all until they said she was and started "treating her".  She was playful, energetic and had plenty of energy. She certainly wasn't leaking pee everywhere! Once treatment started she suddenly looks and acts like a very sick dog. She has no quality of life anymore. She gets so dopey on the Benadryl we cut the dose ourselves so she could stand up and walk on her own at least. The SFVS said they would adjust the meds so she still has a good quality of life as well as healing.



I can not thank the folks who have donated to our fundraiser or supply drive already enough. Without those donations we wouldn't have been able to pay off our SPCA bill to get her meds refilled. That could have been more dangerous than the cancer! We are really optimistic that we will be able to raise enough to pay for her to see Dr. Stephen Atwater at the SFVS. There are so many people who love Pheona and even more who don't know her but love dogs, or animals in general. Today we received a bottle of donated cannabis oil from a trusted source. We were given a bottle of CO infused coconut oil to give her orally/anally (we haven't actually tried anal application yet) and concentrated cannabis oil for topical use.

I am anxious to get her in to see the oncologist. We are still working with very little information about her specific situation. I am also hoping that they have some programs available to help with the cost of cancer treatment. I am sure that can start to add up to thousands and thousands of dollars. I still feel so lost and overwhelmed, getting in at SFVS should help alleviate some of the stress of uncertainty. I hope anyway.

How You Can Help Us

Help!

I am really struggling right now and I am starting to feel hopeless. I don't have enough money to cover everything I need to care for Pheona during this time. I am disabled so I am not working and my SSI income was recently cut by 65%. My money for the month is already spent on rent and essential bills to keep a roof over our heads. I could really use some help. I don't know what else to do.

Sometimes you hear stories about people who turn to the "internet" for help and the "internet" goes above and beyond to support someone deserving or in need. Kind-hearted people donated several hundreds of thousands of dollars recently so a bullied bus driver could retire. I thought that was one of the best stories I had ever heard. 

Well, I certainly don't need anywhere near half a million dollars! I don't need anything even close to that. I just need about $1,000- more if she has surgery at some point. I wonder if the "internet"- if you actually- can find it in your heart to help me and Phe? Just a dollar could make a difference. Or maybe you have, but don't need, one of the items we need and it is taking up space in your home.

Even if you can't donate anything right now could you please share our story? Someone you know might be able to help. I can't thank you enough for even taking the time to read this, Pheona is my entire world. It is tearing me up inside that I can't afford to give her what she needs right now. I would be eternally grateful for anything you could do to help us.

Ways You Can Help

Things we need or already owe money for:

• Attend’s Underpads-Walgreen’s brand is Certainty. Also known as “Chux”. Large, Maximum absorbancy. (Waterproof bed protectors, like puppy training pads but without the scent to encourage animals to pee on it.) Puppy training pads also work but are smaller.
• Poise Ultra-Thin Pads regular length.-Walgreen’s brand is Certainty. Light bladder protection pads for women. (We use 2 of these and 1 even larger each time she has to wear her “shorts”. We currently have an extra-large package of the large pads.)
• Canned pumpkin to regulate her digestion with the medicines. (not pie filling, plain canned pumpkin)
• Benadryl- 25 mg pills.
• Vet bill is currently $274.61 and we have another appointment tomorrow (appt. alone is $65, meds and tests are extra).
• Prescription medicine (prednisone) every 20 days is $29.66
• Generic equivalents for any of these care items is fine, I just used name brands to identify the items more clearly. Partial packages would also be appreciated if you have something from the list around the house.

Ways you can help:

• Donate on our GoFundMe fundrasier page.
• Donate directly via PayPal or Google Wallet to juliethies@gmail.com
• Mail items on the list directly to the address below.
• By mail via check; money order; or gift cards: Visa gift cards, Green Dot refill packs, or gift cards for Walgreens, CVS, Safeway, or Target [there is no Walmart near me].
• Purchase items off my Wish List on Amazon.com
• Purchase handmade items or photos from my Etsy store- Julia Made These. (If I don't have something you want, feel free to request a custom order!)
• Purchase a copy of my eBook - The Complete History of Bloody Lake

Mail supplies or donations to:

Julie Mae Thies

520 S. Van Ness Ave. #380

San Francisco, CA 94110

Dog Panties, Ticks and Dragging Our Feet

Getting some fresh air even if I don't
feel like playing at all.

The last several days have begun to take a real toll on me, emotionally and physically. There seems to be so much going on that I haven't been able to catch my breath or think very clearly. I also haven't been getting much sleep, just a few hours around dawn every day. Even when I can slow my mind down enough to lie down, it seems circumstances (like doggy pee accidents) conspire against me getting any rest. I am exhausted already, and our journey to healing has only just begun.

Enjoying the outdoors, yet
meds make her feel paranoid.

We decided to decrease the dose of Benadryl we are giving her. Unlike the cannabis oil, she doesn't seem to "get used to" the Benadryl and it really makes her loopy. She wouldn't sleep, she could barely hold herself up, her lower eyelids drooped way open, her mouth hung open, and her tongue even hung out! She also couldn't control her pee at all. Even awake she would be leaking it everywhere. The Benadryl also seems to make her easily startled and she acts like she is paranoid (without the Benadryl she doesn't act like this so it isn't the cannabis oil). She even had trouble walking, she walked like a drunk and would fall over if we stopped.

While talking to my therapist about some of this it dawned on me that us knowing she has cancer had suddenly decreased her quality of life. Before we knew she had cancer (and not counting the diarrhea that took us to the vet where we received the cancer dx) she appeared to be a healthy, active and very playful middle-aged dog. On all the medicine they prescribed she looks, acts and seems to feel like a very old dog who doesn't want to move. She can't even hold her pee! Whatever time she has left should have SOME joy in it yet.That seems like the best reason to reduce the dose of that one drug. There were other reasons, too though.

Relaxing in the fresh air.

I completely understand the need for the Benadryl, which is why we didn't stop it entirely. Instead of a full pill in the morning and at night she gets half of a pill. She is still getting some of the medicine, but she is having far fewer accidents. I am disabled myself, I can't keep up with all of the accidents the full dose was causing. Even at half a dose we average 2 accidents per day. I can't afford the sharp increase in laundry (I have to use the laundromat and pay for each load), the protective puppy pads (the human ones are much cheaper), diaper liners (again human ones save money and work better) and disinfectant/deodorant/clean up costs.

Two nights ago I was really at a low point. I was really feeling defeated by the situation. It was 5 AM and we were cleaning up after her 4th accident in my bed that night. It felt like in just a few weeks time my life had completely gone to hell. My dog was old and dying right before my eyes. Seemingly overnight she went from begging to be played with several times a day to having to be literally dragged outside to use the bathroom. She was spending every day in a stupor.


After reducing her dose of Benadryl she had a playful spell. She wasn't full of her usual energy but she did have interest in playing tug at the park. She still shows no interest in running around much. The vet spoke about keeping her "comfortable" since surgery isn't an option, but the Benadryl and prednisone seem to have turned her into an old, sickly dog when she had been pretty healthy and energetic before the treatment. They don't seem very hopeful that anything can really be done about this cancer, because of the unfortunate location, so I don't understand the need to ruin her quality of life for hopeless treatments. We see the vet again on Wednesday and I will definitely have a lot to ask; I've got a list started and keep adding questions as they occur to me.

Another issue the over-medicating has started is that she is now dragging her feet when she walks. We had noticed that we could hear her feet dragging a few times but didn't think too much of it. Then yesterday I happened to notice that she was wearing the tops of some of her nails off. It looks like one might have even gone past the "quick", but thankfully didn't bleed.

I am a little concerned about this, I don't know if it is just lethargy from all the medicines or if she is having some kind of issue with her co-ordination/muscle control. Another question for the list I have for her vet.

Speaking of her feet and nails, the other day I thought she had mysteriously grown a second dew claw along side the first. As we looked closer my husband said he thought it looked like a skin tab, but he didn't have his readers on. I was able to see that this "skin tab" had several legs! She picked up a dog tick somewhere. Thanks to this handy guide I was able to ID it quickly to know it wasn't a deer tick. The last thing she needs while her immune system is compromised by steroids is to get a deadly infection! Luckily she shows none of the symptoms of the diseases they, or any other ticks, can carry.


I realized today that part of the reason I am feeling so lost and overwhelmed could have to do with how little the vet has told us. They gave us a diagnosis- it is a mast cell tumor- but other than that they haven't said much. The first doctor did comment that it seemed aggressive and may have spread to her other organs but didn't elaborate any further. No one told us what a mast cell tumor was, how advanced it is, how likely is it to be shrunk/cured, will this shorten her lifespan and if so by how much. Basically nothing.


There is still hope though. Photos of her tumor taken yesterday seem to show it shrinking! Looking at all of the photos I've taken since she was diagnosed it looks like it continued to grow at first, but in the last 2 sets of photos I believe I have seen some slight shrinkage. It is difficult to get photos of it from other angles but from the side view it doesn't seem as tall either. Since we have no photos from that angle there is no way to tell. My husband and I both see it though, it seems not as tall or as pointy as it was a couple of weeks, or even days, ago.

We have been having trouble getting her oil to stick to her bump to use it topically. At first it was like tar and coated it really well. It has dried out and gotten crumbly since then and it just falls right off. We don't have coconut oil, which everyone recommends, but tonight we may have come up with a solution. We mixed her CO medicine with some Burt's Bees Soothingly Sensitive Aloe and Buttermilk Body Lotion hoping the lotion would act as a vehicle to bring the CO into the skin deeper. I am not sure if just mixing the lotion with the CO will sufficiently combine them so that the lotion can carry into the skin. At the very least, it made the oil creamy and much more likely to stick.

We also bandaged it tonight, or at least tried to, with a stretchy cling bandage to try to keep the medicine on the tumor where it belongs. We have never gotten a bandage to stay on before, but at the time of this writing it has hung on for about six hours, survived two walks and a number two. Hopefully it will stay on, at least for the night, so that tumor can be saturated in cannabis oil lotion.

It must be time for me to wrap this update up. The poor girl just had an accident on the floor. She was really alert and curious the last time I had glanced over at her, BUT... Steve gave her 1/2 a Benadryl about an hour ago. I didn't know that or I would have reminded him to put her shorts on her. We have been calling those non-diaper garments either her shorts or her panties. I have had to alter it twice, add more velcro and I think I still need to add some darts to them. That might help keep her from leaking with them on. Unfortunately, without a waterproof liner, they will never be without leaks.

Thank you everyone who has been keeping up with Pheo's journey and especially thank you to those who have reached out with words of encouragement for me. It means a lot. I am considering starting a Facebook and Twitter for the blog, to connect better with those who are reading and reaching out. Hopefully there will be more news on that and a fundraiser soon! Please keep checking back and sharing our story with others!